Story of my life

 Is it only me? I usually do not tell people my secrets. Well, of course. Duh.

Well, I'm not a virgin. And I don't really want the whole world to know about it.

Its not something to be proud of.

But when I do tell it to a friend. Someone I think I can trust.

Occasionally, when topics like these come up, she'll always go like,

"Oops! I forgot you're not a virgin" or "Haha, not like you, so experienced." in like such a sarcastic way. Or when I said something that offended her, she'll dig up my stories and use it against me.

Sigh. Story of my life.

Hate It

I hate it when guys keep staring. I find it damn irritating! It's like they are trying to harassed you with that F!@#ing eyes! If you are interested in our boobs, our legs or whichever body parts you find to be arousing then please do it secretly! Will you like it if other guy stare at your sister or your mother the same way?

I'm Busy People

 I have this friend who is working oversea. She usually helps us to buy branded stuff like Gucci, LV, and coach online and send it over to Malaysia. We actually paid her extra just to tell her we appreciate her help since we can get the stuff cheaper than retail. But recently she refused to help by saying she is busy with work. In the end we found out that she actually set up an online blog to help people doing pre order.

Come on, if you want to sell to us according to the price you quote then just tell. There is no point on being so secretive. You want to do business we understand. Sigh....

Trade

Baby,

 when you say I love you because of your money do you realized you were after my beauty as well?

It's a fair trade to me.

What To Catch Up?

While talking with my BF, he mentioned that he ran into his ex. The latest ex. Then he told me they went for lunch to catch up.  I know he is not cheating on me but I am still jealous. Because his ex is slimmer and prettier than I am. The thing is why need to catch up? She dumped him for her ex! Sometimes I just hate my BF for being so nice!

Time to grow up!

To you, whom I call my love.

There is a limit to how much I can tolerate your shit. I love you, but I love myself more. So clean up your act,suck it up, and grow up.

or I'll walk away.

Golden Apples

People always judge me even though they don't know me well enough. No doubt I am surrounded by so called good people. People who never curse or swear or wear sexy clothes or drink or club etc....It is absurd to jump into conclusion that I am the rotten apple when I wear sexy clothes, and girls who dress up 'conventionally' are the golden apples. If you judge me by how I dress well I guess you are no better than me.

Who I Was.

I'm transformed. I used to be very emotional. I scarred myself. I enjoyed the pain. Nobody knows about it. Not my parents. Not my wife.

When she asked me about my scars I said I got them during a fight. I want to forget but the scars always remind me of who I was.

How Innocent

I used to be naive. I know a lot of people but I don't have much friends. Until I come to the big city. I had a housemate name K. Her look is okay, but she have lotsa friends. Her personality maybe. She taught me a lot about discovering myself. And I guess I did learn a thing or two. She advised me to get to know more people. Mingle around open up. And I did. But I took the wrong advice.

I'm not sure how people view me. But I don't think I'm ugly. I have no BF but every one does. So I started to think maybe there is something wrong with me. I started chatting online a lot. And I get to know S. He was so charming. We went out for the first time. Not as handsome as Brad Pitt but he sure know how to talk. Has a nice car. Tough body. Face could come later I figured. Before our second date he always call me. And after few weeks he asked me out again for our second date. Which I honestly and innocently believe gonna be a date.

After dinner,movies and all the usual he asked me whether I want to go Genting with him that night. Since I never been into one I could be his lucky charm in the Casino he said. I refused to, thinking I'm underage and all. And yes I was just turning 19 years old. But I caves in.(Surprisingly I managed to enter) I went up with him because he said he will book 2 singles in one room. Boy... how innocent I was. Everything went well. We slept around midnight on a different bed. Until few hours later I wake up with him beside me begging me for SEX! I freaked out. But he assured me everything will be fine. He plead for hours. AND once more I stupidly believes! I lost my V to him. There was no blood.

On the way back he hold my hand til we reach my home. I thought he will be my BF and how wrong I was AGAIN for the third time! He called me that night telling me not to get my hopes up. He don't want to be in committed relationship with me because he scared he will hurt me since I'm too young for him. (The age gap was 11 years) Well you did ASSHOLE! When I told him I was a virgin when I have sex with him he said I was lying.

A pricey lesson for me indeed! Young girls don't fall to easy even if he is your BF. Virginity is something you can never get back. Ladies use your instinct. Women instinct might be wrong at times but better than be sorry.

The Obvious

I know this might be obvious for some guys or girls but I just couldn't figure it out for myself. I have a GF she is pretty, slender and have very high confidence in me.

The problem is...

The confidence is only in front of other people. In front of me she is so insecure. She always think that she is not good enough.Fat.Ugly.etc....Sometimes I really got tired with all the whining. Why can't she be confident in front of me as she is in front of everybody else?

She is OBVIOUSLY pretty enough. I have no idea where she get the idea that she is ugly and fat. For God sake!

Tell me????

Beliefs

For starters, there is this guy, I used to be in a relationship with this guy. I really do love him and he loves me too. We are a couple that people call "the perfect couple". we hangout together, talk about everything and do pretty much everything. Everyone that knows us always say that we are perfect for each other. I almost believed that everything is going to be A-okay.

But, the problem is we have different religion. We both came from a strong belief in our religion, but we never make it a problem for us to enjoy life.

Until when his family starts to find out about our relationship, they strongly were against it until they pushed him into breaking up with me. I was devastated but i stayed strong because of him, he was giving me hope that one day we would be together. I was holding on to this invisible string for quite a while but i am okay with it.

Until! one of his siblings starts to make our relationship public by telling all the people that i was rejected by their family, that i am not good enough for them. I was so mad and embarrassed that i started to be mad at him which made our relationship becomes more cold. And what hurts me the most is that he didn't even fight for me.

This goes to show that we were not the so called "perfect couple"