How Innocent

I used to be naive. I know a lot of people but I don't have much friends. Until I come to the big city. I had a housemate name K. Her look is okay, but she have lotsa friends. Her personality maybe. She taught me a lot about discovering myself. And I guess I did learn a thing or two. She advised me to get to know more people. Mingle around open up. And I did. But I took the wrong advice.

I'm not sure how people view me. But I don't think I'm ugly. I have no BF but every one does. So I started to think maybe there is something wrong with me. I started chatting online a lot. And I get to know S. He was so charming. We went out for the first time. Not as handsome as Brad Pitt but he sure know how to talk. Has a nice car. Tough body. Face could come later I figured. Before our second date he always call me. And after few weeks he asked me out again for our second date. Which I honestly and innocently believe gonna be a date.

After dinner,movies and all the usual he asked me whether I want to go Genting with him that night. Since I never been into one I could be his lucky charm in the Casino he said. I refused to, thinking I'm underage and all. And yes I was just turning 19 years old. But I caves in.(Surprisingly I managed to enter) I went up with him because he said he will book 2 singles in one room. Boy... how innocent I was. Everything went well. We slept around midnight on a different bed. Until few hours later I wake up with him beside me begging me for SEX! I freaked out. But he assured me everything will be fine. He plead for hours. AND once more I stupidly believes! I lost my V to him. There was no blood.

On the way back he hold my hand til we reach my home. I thought he will be my BF and how wrong I was AGAIN for the third time! He called me that night telling me not to get my hopes up. He don't want to be in committed relationship with me because he scared he will hurt me since I'm too young for him. (The age gap was 11 years) Well you did ASSHOLE! When I told him I was a virgin when I have sex with him he said I was lying.

A pricey lesson for me indeed! Young girls don't fall to easy even if he is your BF. Virginity is something you can never get back. Ladies use your instinct. Women instinct might be wrong at times but better than be sorry.